The Walls Between Facebook Friends


A person who I went to high school with posted this on their wall. We are friends on Facebook.

Listen, it is completely their right to post whatever the hell they want on their wall.

And I’m not going to take on this, “list of dependents,” and break it down through an intersectional lens. You can start with a great site like Colorlines for a different perspective.

What I’m wondering about right now is if this person ever sees what I post on my wall. What I post here on my blog. Or did this person click “unfollow” on my Facebook news feed after they realized on which side of the border I stood?

And here’s what I’m also wondering about as well: Who else that I’m friends with on Facebook feels the same way as the person who posted this, but doesn’t have the balls to post the same photo on their own wall?

So, I want to put out a call. A call to the person in my Facebook world who posted this, and a call to the other people in my Facebook world who agree with the photo, or even parts of it:

I’d like to have a Skype session with you. A Skype session where I can listen to why you agree with this photo. And then I’d like to switch and share with you why I don’t agree with this photo, and you can listen. And then we can continue to discuss what comes up in an open and respectful manner.

I’m dead serious.

The thing is, I want you to talk to me as a person, with personal stories, not arms full of research that works for what you agree with. And the same goes for me.

For example. I’d truly like to know why you feel and believe, on a personal level, that you’re financially supporting half the population living in the country of Mexico.

In the spirit of transparency, I’m not here to change your minds. I mean, if that happens, great, but that’s not the objective. The goal is to have an honest and open conversation.

Listen, it’s really not a big stretch for me to see certain members of the U.S Congress as fools as well.

So, if you’re game, let’s do this. Email me at, or post a comment here on the blog about how to get in touch with you.

And the people who also disagree with this photo?

I’d like to challenge you to join me and extend the same Skype session invite to at least one person in your Facebook world who agrees with this photo/parts of this photo.

Let me know how it goes. 


6 thoughts on “The Walls Between Facebook Friends

  1. Yeah! That is a brave post!
    Sometimes I am wondering about how people can be so certain that they are on the ‘other side’ – meaning, the non-immigrant side. Are we not all immigrants if we look a bit further in the past? I don’t know one single person whose lineage derived from only one country and I am not even talking about the shifting of the borders over the past centuries over and over again. When I ask people here in California where they come from, very often the 2nd generation comes from a so called immigration country…
    You are an inspiring lady!



  2. Indignant. That’s my response. As a Mexican, I take offense to “half of Mexico”. I guess saying 50 million is not as impressive. Yet not only that. What right does it give anyone to point fingers and criticize? The Golden Rule: Do onto others what you would like to have done onto you. So.. would anyone like being called a dependent of anyone else in those terms? Would you like being treated like the scourge of society? Would you like to have fingers pointed at you?


    1. E, Thank you so much for posting. I completely hear you, and understand how this lands for you, knowing your personal story. The thing is, I’m sure that people who post this photo in agreement are just as indignant, for their own reasons. I wrote my post also as a result of reading about how things broke down when Sen. John McCain went to Arizona. He was at a Town Hall meeting, talking about the proposed immigration reform, and things got intense with a lot of anti-immigrant sentiment. Pro-immigrant activists want to make sure to have a presence at future Town Hall meetings. I’m not sure exactly what that would look like, but it is difficult for me not to see it devolving into a screaming match. You know that I know that there’s a time and a place for being loud and fierce. So I was wondering as I was writing my post, “When do we truly look each other in the eye and openly talk to each other?” “How and when do you express our own hurt?” “Does it/will it ever happen?” Because I know that as scary as it has been for me sometimes, (and this is me talking as a person with a lot of different privileges, including US citizenship,) as nerve-wracking as it has been to have those conversations, 9 times out of 10 they were powerful and teachable moments for both of us talking. In an ideal world, I’d love to see those of us in the social justice movement taking turns in taking on the conversations in support of ourselves and others. Sometimes we rest, for our own protection/sanity/other reasons, and we tag someone else in, and vice versa. I’m thinking that I’m tagged in for this one, and taking on this conversation about this photo for you:)

      Liz, thanks for letting me take a walk and process out some of my thoughts. Love Always, Giselle


  3. You are a brave woman! I’m glad there are people like you because I don’t think I have the energy to share my opinion with someone who would write that, but you are absolutely right on, that’s what we all should be doing in this country, listening to each other. But the funny thing about that post is as I first read it, I read “half of Mexico” and thought, “Oh wow, at least he/she acknowledges that the US occupies “half of Mexico.” I thought he/she was talking about the Mexican territory that the US stole from Mexico. I thought, oh at least he/she knows a little bit about the injustice of of land! Haha, I guess it’s all about the “lens” from which you read things!


    1. S-Thanks for posting 🙂 Indeed, it is all about the lens! It is interesting, a lot of people have been talking today about not having the energy. I completely get, and completely agree that sometimes/oftentimes for our own personal safety/sanity/other reasons we have to pass on communicating with people who do not have the same lens as we do. However, I’m also curious today, after reading people’s comments, mainly on fb, if there is ever a “right” time for when people feel that they can have a conversation. Because if there’s something that I do know, it is that I don’t only want to be preaching only to the choir each and every time that I write/perform my show/speak to a group. Because if we all don’t have the energy at the same time, then how are we going to truly move with authenticity as a movement? I feel that these necessary conversations, these one-on-one intimate moments with the potential for trust-building, have an as-of-yet untapped power to bolster a more robust dialogue about immigration reform on a national level.

      And Steph, I’m posting some of these thoughts after your comment, b/c we’ve got deep trust, and I know that I can lean in with you that way 🙂 Big Hug, Giselle


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