Right Before He Was Escorted Away

The moment in front of me. The moment in my heart.

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10 thoughts on “Right Before He Was Escorted Away

  1. Laura, THANK YOU SO MUCH! Your words give me a whole damn lot of strength! I felt embarassed, ashamed and alone when R was deported. I know what you mean about the "bad people" thing. That's such a big reason of why I want to do the blog in this manner-I want us spouses out there to find each other, and to help each other heal, however that looks liek for each of us. I always talk about after my show, The Deportee's Wife, that I want to blow people's stereoptyes out of the water about what a deported man's wife looks like, acts like, speaks like, etc.. And each one of us spouses/partners does that in our own unique way. It is a gray zone. That's why the election was killing me yesterday- no matter what happened, there are people in my life that still live in the shadows in the US after the election, and people whose lives were turned upside down, and dropped into the grey area. Laura, please feel free to email me at thedeporteeswife@gmail.com, and we can build from there! Big Hug,Giselle

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  2. I really can't say enough how much I appreciate your blog. It has been so hard for me to express what my husband's deportation and our subsequent issues with immigration have meant in our lives. For a long time I felt really embarassed and ashamed – like we were bad people who somehow deserved the mistreatment we've experienced and that we don't have a right to complain or to be upset. I don't know exactly *why* I've felt that way. So it is extremely empowering to me to participate in the great things you have going on your blog. It is very brave of you to express yourself so openly, and I think what you are expressing are things that people should know about – things that people NEED to know about. It is so odd to be an American who grew up with the idea that we have so many privileges and opportunities – and those privileges and opportunities are not seen that way at all, instead they are seen as rights; then one day to suddenly have that all torn out from under you. The humiliation that our husbands or wives suffer is *our* humiliation too. You enter into a gray zone, where although in name you're still an American citizen, in reality, you might as well not be, because you are deprived of basic rights and freedoms. What kind of country would want that kind of treatment for their citizens?

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  3. Hi Laura, I really appreciate you posting and letting me know some of what you're thinking/feeling. For me, the reality is that I'm always going to carry R's deportation with me. However, I'm also trying to simply live and enjoy the life that I have So while R's deportation is always there in the background, it's not always at the front of my mind, i.e., always tearing m apart. But with this blog being experimental, I'm really trying to push myself to share some of the intimate moments. I want to show people the soft underbellies and the hard shells that many of us develop because of this experience. The guilt, the anger, the injustice, the sadness, the funny things, the ridiculousness of it all. And when I get a post like yours, saying "That was my scream," it actually means the world to me. Because I feel less alone. More empowered to keep speaking out. I hope that both issues are the same for you. Thanks again for your posts – keep the coming, so that we can keep the dialogue going!:) Big Hug, TDW

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  4. This got me in a place deep down. In a way, when I look at your blog, I wonder, how can she still carry this around, this deportatin baggage, for so long? Isn't it exhausting? Part of me wants to have erased my husband's deportation from my memory by the time we get to 9 years since he was deported (it's been four). But you know what this piece showed me? It will always be with me, it will never go away. That scream at the end, that echoed in my own head over and over when my husband was deported. Remembering going back to our apartment alone – without him – it was like he was dead. I will never ever forget those moments. I am in awe of the way you express your experience in such a raw and real way. I was there. That was my scream.

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  5. J, thank you – I couldn't post a comment on my own damn site until now! I was just getting tired of writing a blog that "reacted" to current events. I needed to go a little more inward and intimate. I'm ooking forward to your stuff as well! Saludos, G

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